The Forbidden “C” Word

 There’s a few dirty words that start with the letter “C”. But, cancer shouldn’t be one of them. But, chemo can be one of them. It knocks the shit out of Matt. Time and time again. 

Instead of C- U- Next- Tuesday make it C-U-Next - Treatment. 

The American Cancer Society has some shocking statistical data available in regards to colon cancer. I first read the facts on the cancer.org site while Matt was still unconscious after his ostomy surgery. I looked at the five year survival rate. Stared it down, for what felt like hours. 

14%. 

The incidence rate has decreased 4.6% in the sixty-five and older population. But, the prevalence of colon cancer diagnosis in individuals under age fifty has increased by 1.6%. Coincidentally, the same rings true with the death by colon cancer stats. Cancer patients in older populations are seeing a decline in death rates, whilst the under fifty crowd is seeing a death rate increase. This could stem from the lack of screening in younger people, most people don’t even schedule their first colonoscopy until their fifties . If you don’t detect it early, it spreads. Therefore, when you finally do detect it you’re behind. It’s gotten the drop on you. So that’s probably why after five years of fighting only 14% come out on top, because the c-word got the drop on them. 

So there I was in bed, on my MacBook reading survival rates; after endlessly vomiting like I did every day of my pregnancy. My four year old sprawled out on her Daddy’s side of the bed watching HGTV with me. She wanted to know why he wasn’t home, why Hilary Farr has an accent on Love it or List it, and why she couldn’t have every day be her show and tell day at school. I simply wanted to know what I had done to deserve god putting me in this position. I had to wait until the small human gave in to sleep to sob silently next to her, because she deserved me at my strongest. Besides I was going to wake up from this nightmare soon enough, it was a bad dream concocted by ny subconscious after watching an episode of the resident involving cancer, right?! A girl could dream. Wishing I could slow down my own thoughts, I clicked through medical journals that came up in my search results. Looking for a survival rate number higher than my age to hold onto. I found so much hope in the stories of others. 

Statistics can be helpful to keep you realistic. A baseline to remind you that it’s real. This isn’t going to be easy and it’s no laughing matter. Stop and remind yourself like I had to remind myself. These numbers are based on the average colon cancer patient who is in their late sixties maybe even early seventies. They don’t have a daughter and another one on the way, they probably don’t have a crazy wife calling all the major hospitals, emailing all the countries experts and advocating for better care; and then most importantly they aren’t Matt.