Cancer Life, Cancer Wife

I talked to someone a few weeks back. She had been in the widow and widower group I’d joined.  She asked where I’d been— why did I stop writing? How am I feeling with the holidays coming? The short answer; I didn’t stop writing. I just stopped sharing. The journey was public to help save someone, anyone. But, the healing. The grieving. That I wanted to be private. I wanted some control back after over twenty months of not an ounce of it.  The process is so different for everyone. When I lost my husband, I also lost the father of my children. My girl’s were one and five; they kept me beyond busy. It leaves no time to dwell, and even less time to grieve. The goal becomes to keep everything status quo. Which is impossible, but you want so badly for them to be spared the weight of what’s happening.  Our last holiday was Thanksgiving. It was a day that will probably remain unbearable all the Thanksgiving’s to come.  Then he was gone. The first of December was the first da...