Live Your Life.

 Here I am. In a resort in Aruba.

We won’t know anything about the success of Matt’s latest procedure until August. More waiting. No news. Even if it works to slow the cancer in the liver, Matt has cancer in so many other sites. We’ll have to regroup to treat the rest. And we know his cancer isn’t responsive to chemotherapy. It’s spread or grown on every chemo and immunotherapy we’ve tried. But, of course we’ll keep trying. This trip however, is a cancer free zone. A bucket list trip where cancer wasn’t invited. 

I have fielded some texts from some who think it’s frivolous. Some question why we would venture so far away after a major treatment and procedure. 

I almost immediately want to lash out,  but instead I want to put something in perspective for those unfamiliar with the expenses that come with cancer. 

This trip was significantly less expensive than two months of Matt’s cancer copays and medications. Not that anyone should ever have to explain themselves or their spending. But, my intentions are always to educate and of course support or help those who also may face this crazy cancer wife life. 

JetBlue Vacations  is an amazing way to affordable travel, and if like Matt and I you have an exorbitant amount of travel points from before the pandemic— you could travel the globe for free. I debated starting a travel blog, before officially publishing my book. It was after a glass or seven of wine. I had this idea that I’m becoming quite the thrifty adventurer. But, then I realize I’m a novice at all these things, and  better off not giving someone advice that could get someone stranded in Fiji.

Anyway, back to my original point. The cost of cancer care— and how you can’t let it dictate your life or stop you from living.  Even with the best insurance, it’s going to impact your budget. You’re going to pay out the nose for your multiple weekly visits. Then factor in the medications that correlate to your care and financially you could have fulfilled your entire bucket list. You could have been a jet setter for the costs required for most cancer patients to survive mere months. 

So we’re in Aruba and from this very resort room, I would advise anyone facing the cancer life to book all the “frivolous” trips. Take day trips, plan all the experiences your heart desires. Any memory you want your kids to have, or you want to make… do it. Don’t let the fear of cancer related financial burdens to stop you from continuing to live. 

Because everyone needs something to look forward to. No one  should have to look forward to weekly blood draws and shitty news. Week after week. With no reprieve.

Who wants to fight day in and day out to survive? 

Would you fight to live to just attend appointments? Blood draws. Chemotherapy. Radiation. Surgeries. Endless drugs snd toxicity. 

So in my completely non-expert opinion I say— drive to the beach, fly to the beach, buy yourself a beach. Don’t worry who is judging. Don’t care. Soak up all the sun. Kiss on your sandy, and zinc covered kids. Eat the ice cream, heck have two. Carbs? Psh, eat ‘em’ all. Live your life. 

Otherwise, what is the purpose? Why be alive? Why give up your gallons of blood? Why vomit every day for months? Why suffer? It’s not because you want to. It’s because you want to LIVE. 

You’re alive to live your life, because tomorrow it might not be yours to live.