A Letter To My Daughter[s]

First I was a daughter.

But, then I found someone who knew where I had come from and where I was headed. He wasn’t intimidated by my independence, or my drive. He didn’t care that I didn’t need anyone, and therefore I ended up needing him. 

So second, I became a wife.

You meld yourself with someone else. For better or for worse. You have to accept them for all that they are and the flaws they may have. You become a team. 

Then as a team you may decide you want to start a family. Your father gave me the greatest honor and privilege.

Which brings me to my third and greatest role.

Thirdly, I became a mom. Your mom. 

I can promise you each role came with enough challenges to make me cry in parking lots. You’ll lose hair. And what remains may turn gray. 

Life throws everyone curve balls. Some people have more trials than others, but regardless strive to be kind. Not everyone  knows or understands what you’re facing and you don’t know their story either. Love wholeheartedly. And when that bites you  in the ass don’t grow bitter, grow wiser. 

I believe strong women raise stronger women, but I also know some are self-made. Follow your heart, and stay true to what brings you joy. 

I cried on the way to the hairdresser tonight. Whilst listening to Macklemore. I deleted my original post, because someone told me how envious they are of my strength. Without thinking I replied, you should meet my girls. Strongest little ladies on the east coast in my opinion. The quote from Macklemore that resonated with me after I wiped my eyes and pulled it together was:

You put the work in, don't worry about the praise, my love
Don't try to change the world, find something that you love
And do it every day
Do that for the rest of your life
And eventually, the world will change

I was crying for you, because the things you’ve already witnessed are too great for even the oldest of souls. Yet here we are. 

Your daddy has decided to stop cancer treatment, for the simple fact that he values quality over quantity in these final months. He wants to be present with you instead of in bed trying to rest to handle another toxic cycle of treatment that may not even add to the time you’ll have. It’s admirable. And he loves you more than you may ever know, but not for my lack of telling you. 

Some day we will have this chat in person. But, for now I type the words, because it’s important that you know you’re in your first role as “daughters”. Truth be told you are both  already way better at it than I ever was. 

Love Always, 

Mom