Tuesday Bluesday

No treatment again this week. The blow feels a little less intense this time around. 

No point in stressing what we can’t control. 

We have gone through the motions of attending all his usual appointments with the usual characters. He had imaging that I prayed for days would bring some additional hope to our home. It did bring some news, though nothing earth shattering. 

The nodules in Matt’s lungs  remain stable in size. I asked if they’re cancer. They say they don’t know, and they won’t biopsy anything under a centimeter. Liver is still showing response to treatment, all the tumors are shrinking, even if only ever so slightly. But, he still can’t have surgery because his portal vein remains blocked. We just thank our lucky stars his liver is still functioning. About the liver… 

Matt had a biopsy today. I worked from the hospital. The minutes ticked by and I shifted uncomfortably while attending my meetings and completing my job duties. 

The nurses didn’t have an update the thirty times I asked. So thankfully, I had a busy work day to distract me from their lack of information. They planned on going in through his rib cage to take a sample of his largest liver mass. They want to know what it’s secreting (if anything). 

They let him go home in the afternoon. 

I went over to help with some things, for my mother-in-law. Raced to get Matt dinner. Came through the front door, stripping off clothes as I made my way to the bathroom. Jumped in the shower. 

I got Couraira to dance on time. My lion-like mane a hot mess and still damp, rocking a pair of workout leggings and a Disneyland t-shirt. After dance, it’s the nighttime rat race of snack, baths and bedtime. 

Matt tried to help, even after a procedure that morning.