What Christmas Means to Me, My Love.

The biopsy results came back, the cancer has spread to Matt’s lungs. The bottom line— it’s aggressive.

We cried, regrouped, then cried some more. Neither of us could sleep. Then we had to wait for an appointment to discuss our options. 

The appointment took place this morning, and we have a plan. Matt is looking at three months of a different and more brutal chemotherapy and immunotherapy regiment. We have no time to lose so we will have to start the day day after our seven year wedding anniversary. It will continue through Christmas break for Couraira. Theoretically it continues through until my birthday. Not ideal. Not in the least. 

But, it’s something I suppose to have an option at all. So I’m grateful. 

Here I sit on my lunch rolling up my sleeves and preparing to stay in the trenches of bleaching and cleaning. Picking up the tasks that I don’t want Matt stressing, and keeping our girls lives status quo. 

I need him to focus on the fight. Because there are now surgical options and the radiation options are off the table until we can make strides against this enemy. 

Some thoughts I have before we dive back into the painstaking routine, and Matt’s suffering starts all over again… 

We can do this, we’ve been doing it. 

We have no choice, so let’s get it done.

No one deserves this at Christmas, but there’s no time to have a pity party. 

I need a glass of wine, but it’s only 11:30am, and I have four hours left of my workday ( so maybe I’ll revisit this after the kids go to bed). 

I love my husband, and this is a blessing to be able to have more time. 

Dear Lord, let this work because if we never get good news, I’d rather have no news. 

So back to the idea of Christmas, perhaps this will be our Christmas miracle?Tis’ the season. At least we have a plan. Maybe this regiment will put Matts ahead of this aggressive disease and by Spring we’ll get a reprieve? No one knows, but God himself. In the meantime, tis’ the season to be jolly. So jolly  I’ll be. That Matt’s here for Cerafina’s first Christmas. We’re together. That’s a gift in itself .

Count your Christmas blessings friends. We are.