New Year, New Job, Same Me

This past year (2021) wasn’t gentle with me. It put me on bed rest, the first few months left me longing for labor and the birth of Cerafina. 

While already at the end of my rope, with a rough pregnancy, it brought me my husband’s cancer diagnosis. It brought me tears. It brought me to my knees. 

I crawled into a pew after dropping Couraira off to school. I cried alone, I found solace in the fact that someone always has it harder. I learned to be a nurse, I became a colostomy expert. I changed a gaping 10 inch wound. All whilst holding back the vomit caused by hypermesis gravidarum. 

I fought through a grueling labor and delivery. While Matt couldn’t even hold my hand. I changed his wound between contractions. I got no relief from an epidural because it was too late. 

But, I was given so much more. I learned you can literally do anything. The mind is the strongest part of the human body. I brought a beautiful little girl into this world. A baby that reminds me angels do exist (even though she hates sleep). I gave my eldest daughter a forever friend. And God willing they’ll have us both for a few more years, but if we both died tomorrow they still have each other. 

I love my work family, and they have been a key piece in my stability. My best friend is where I work. Her and her wife (they’re not married, but they might as well be) have been some of my biggest supporters. I’ve written it before, but the cats out of the bag. I took a promotion elsewhere and I’ve decided I have to get climbing the “ladder”. I have to spread my wings. Because although Matt is still working, I don’t know that I always want him to. He won’t get to retire like a normal state worker. But, he deserves to. And the unfortunate truth is, we don’t know when I’ll be alone. When I’ll be the only income. So no promotion can go unaccepted. 

Matt started a new chemotherapy this week. One that brings him to a new low. But, he endures it. He endures all of it because he wants to live another day. Another week. Maybe another month or year. I encourage it, even when he looks like he’d rather give up. I tell him he’s got this. Because he does.

So I’m taking on 2022, somewhere new. Some people think I’m crazy, but the reality is I’m a fighter. Like my husband. How can I not emulate his strength? I’m a force to be reckoned with. I’m taking on 2022 as a warriors wife instead of just a caretaker. I’m putting 2022 in it’s place, before it can even try to pull any nonsense. My name is Courtney Jensen-Krzykowski. And I will literally eat 2022 for breakfast and spit it out before lunch. You see 2021 wasn’t gentle with me, but it taught me more than it’s taken from me. 

I won’t stop advocating. I won’t stop encouraging Matt to fight. And I will be “momming” until I can “mom” no more. I appreciate everyone who cheers us on.

So here goes nothing. 

And for everyone who is asking. I am writing a book. 

Stay tuned.